goingplaceslivinglife

Travel, Food, and Slices of Life

Divorce-Once Removed

13 Comments

Watching my children make life decisions can be exciting and it can be painful. Right now, my daughter is going through the awful realization that her marriage of four years is not viable. There is no life support that can revive it.

They are who they are. She had a dream and he wanted to come along so that was what they used as their foundation. It never happened. Life got in the way.

They are who they are. He is a nice guy, fun to be with. Energetic. Athletic. Wants to explore and experience. But has issues with the mundane issues that life requires. Can not stick to a plan. Can not do what he says he will do.

They are who they are. She is a planner. She sets her eyes on a goal and plans out the steps that will get her there. She makes lists and succeeds. She makes friends easily and holds them dear, but will not tolerate someone who hurts her.

They are who they are. They are trying to get through this next phase as “friendly” as possible. No kids. No property except what each of them purchased out of their own funds for their travels. So the process is as simple as the law permits.beach

But there are missteps and pain along the way. Communication to explain how a misstep caused an additional problem. Excuses given.  Tears flow.

All I can do is tell her she will wade through this and life will get easier.  All I can do, if he reads this blog, is tell him the same.

Life’s mistakes are opportunities for personal growth.  The only thing we can control in some situations is our attitude.  Chose the high road. And parents-watch what you say. It is not your life. Let the adult child make the decisions.

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Author: GoingPlaces Can-Do Zero Waste

I moved to McMinnville a few years ago and was impressed with its friendliness and the beauty of the surrounding countryside. I write several blogs. GoingPlacesLivingLife is my personal blog related to travel, food and just general thoughts. Can-Do Real Food tells about my business processing local produce from small farms and preserving it by canning and dehydrating. The concept of Zero Waste appeals to me because we can truly reduce what gets tossed into the landfill with very small changes in our lifestyle. Join us.

13 thoughts on “Divorce-Once Removed

  1. A comment from a wise lawyer during my divorce:

    “He/she who leaves with the least “stuff” – wins”

    He was right.

  2. Having, through my (LOL) intuitive wisdom, thought this was probably going to happen, so neither of us were surprised. Just want you to know…and tell Lisa…that we still think she is tops and have a great deal of love and respect for her. What a gal! Gosh, it just dawned on me that all of us (except for Deb) have gone through this and survived quite well. Give Lisa a big, big huge from me!

  3. Most excellent!!

    Miss ya, BethAnn

    • When we watch our kids live their lives, all we can do is love them. Completely. Listen. Offer a few words of experience if it is requested. Listen some more. And give lots of hugs.

  4. My opinion:
    The days of our lives add up to the years of our lives…if it’s not a good fit, better to tidy up the ‘mess’ and move on to the happy and fulfilling life we dream of.
    I congratulate you on the wise position you take: support the people without adding to the stress and pressure. Best to all concerned…

    • Lisa will bounce back. She has a tremendous ability to learn quickly and adjust and move on. While it is the financial pains that cause the grief during the day, the quiet hours put it in perspective and the realization that loss usually entails more important issues is the key to healing the wound and adjusting the pathway.

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