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The Risky Trade-Off: How You are Taught To Conform

I tried to be a caring parent, providing a lot of positive messages to my kids while teaching them life lessons and tricks that would permit them to become successful adults who could participate in and contribute to society. More than once they would come home from school complaining about some rule which they considered to be inane, because it was a  no-brainer as far as they were concerned.

I had to tell them that many children were NOT being taught basic rules of community behavior that would permit them to fit in without negative consequences, so in large groups and organizations, like schools and like most jobs in their future, there were going to be rules that might be nit picky at best and downright rigid at worse. I also told my kids that if they didn’t know the rules in any given place just to follow my rules and they should be in good standing.

I never beat my kids. I did not like getting spanked or yelled at as a child and I strongly disagree with any adult who feels those are the only ways to get a child to pay attention. I think if you start early enough, the teaching can be done better. The problem, as I see it, is that many people do not nip a problem when it is small, and so, react in a larger way when it becomes greatly annoying. And being bigger and stronger only lasts so long with children.authoritarian

So, in many families there is a system of uncertainty for the kids. They do what they want and then boom! they are punished. For many of those people, as they grow up, they like knowing the rules. They feel safer when there are rules. They like having someone give them strict boundaries for behavior that will keep them out of trouble.

Until they don’t like it. And then they have no way to work through it. They have been taught to conform, to swallow any impulse to think differently. So, if annoyed by the power above them, they tend to strike at those they consider weaker. And so the cycle is perpetuated.

Right now we have a large segment of the US population who seems to like the idea of a strong leader who makes pronouncements instead of working with others. In fact, many people are confused with the marches and protests that have been happening since they perceive no threat to their own small world. Why is it some of us perceive a threat when others are not concerned?  It can not simply be that we are smarter but perhaps we read more and remember history better than others. Perhaps that reading and learning has helped us to recognize the clues of starting problems before they get really large.leadership-theiiry

We also are seeing many other nations leaning towards a conservative government. In fact, it is interesting to note that the one liberal government that exists in a major European nation right now is Germany. Perhaps their own experience with a fascist dictator taught them all they need to know.

Let’s hope that the lesson America is about to learn does not have a similar high a price to pay.

 

 

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