After I published this a friend told me I was too oblique, so let me explain simply why I told this story today. Today, we have a lot of people who seem to be pretty darn angry about almost everything. They blame the dissatisfaction in their lives on others and that is confirmed by their favorite talking head telling them that they are being mistreated. It is time for you all to wake up. There is no one more responsible for your own pathway, your own circumstances, than you. The choices you make or the choices you fail to make, have consequences. Those are not my fault, nor the single mom down your street, nor the man who is our President. You want change, work for it.
And now, back to my original post…..
So long ago I had an inkling that my marriage to my then boyfriend would not work out; that we had a fundamental difference that would prove to be a problem. I asked him what his goal was in life. We were pretty young (compared to now for sure) but in our mid 20s, so had had some adulthood experience. He told me he didn’t know. He had never thought about it.
That was not the problem.
A minute later he was excited…he knew what it was. He wanted to be rich! I laughed. He scowled.
I asked him how much would make him feel rich. He didn’t know. A million? No. Two million? No, not enough. I asked him if he had a plan to get to this unknown number and he looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language. (To him, the concept of earning your goal was an idea that WAS foreign. He just expected it to happen.)
Then he turned to me and asked me what my goal in life was. I told him I wanted to be happy. He laughed . I scowled.
He told me no one is ever happy. They always want more.
And THAT was the fundamental difference.
Two ways to look at life. He needed something…an unknown and no plan how to achieve it….that was outside himself to provide his goal.
I needed something inside me that would tell me I had enough and it was good.
So long ago, and yet this seems to be more so today. So many people are living in the moment, wanting more and no idea of how to get it. They want for themselves and there is not much space for anyone else. Their partner and their kids are not as important as their feeling that life is just not right, it is unfair, there is more they deserve. And so, unhappiness and another generation who is not taught life skills.
By the way, although that marriage ended in divorce, I have two wonderful children who are priceless to my happiness. I would go through it all again just to share my life with those two fine people.