New Things Learned and More to Consider

One of the shortest stops of our tour was the 30 minutes we spent at an information point along the Alaska Pipeline north of Fairbanks. This pipeline has been in operation since 1977 moving oil drilled on the North Slope above the Arctic Circle over 800 miles south to Valdez, the northernmost ice-free port. Much of it is shipped onward to the west coast of the US and Canada for processing, but about 10% of the crude is refined at three small refineries in Alaska. ( https://www.akbizmag.com/industry/oil-gas/where-does-all-that-oil-go/)

The pipeline provides lots of jobs. Beyond the jobs that were available when the pipeline was being built, today, maintenance and security are directly related. In addition, trucks provide continual supply, which means supplemental employment along the highway route for stores, restaurants, lodging, and more.

Note: This Embedded video resides on the official Alaska National Parks YouTube channel

We were told there have been only a few past environmental issues. Most of the past spills that have taken place are related to the failure of the pipeline to deal with heaves and other movements in the permafrost. The supports holding the pipeline are engineered to keep the soil heated while remaining flexible for the numerous seismic movements that also occur. Environmental concerns are increasing as as the rapidly melting permafrost is affecting the stability of the pipeline as the formerly stable structure is showing signs of “wobble”. (https://insideclimatenews.org/news/11072021/thawing-permafrost-trans-alaska-pipeline/#:~:text=Spills%20have%20ranged%20from%20less,equipment%20failure%20and%20operator%20error.)

Of course, we all remember the Exxon Valdez massive oil spill occurred when a tanker picking up crude in Valdez ran aground in 1989. Besides the loss of sea life, it is important to remember that this massive environmental disaster caused over $300 million of economic harm to more than 32 thousand people whose livelihoods depended on commercial fishing. (https://usa.oceana.org/exxon-valdez-oil-spill-facts/) The clean-up is still ongoing, as pockets of deep pollution are still being identified, 21 years later. (https://priceofoil.org/2010/01/19/21-years-later-oil-still-pollutes-prince-william-sound/#:~:text=The%20oil%20spill%20may%20have,in%20the%20Sound’s%20gravel%20beaches.)

While many Alaskans support increasing drilling, even inside the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (https://www.usnews.com/debate-club/is-it-time-to-drill-in-the-arctic-refuge/majority-of-alaskans-agree-with-drilling-in-anwr), most support relates to the income from the pipeline. Now with the Russian oil no longer being imported, the cry from people throughout the nation to increase drilling production is gaining noise and increasing the flow of oil from the North Slope seems to be the answer of choice by many people. However, the best industry projections indicate that additional Alaska crude would have a minimal potential of reducing gasoline prices at the pump. Environmental concerns are brushed away by indicating the care already taken elsewhere on the North Slope. However, environmental concerns are expressed by others to specify that the Refuge is the home for huge herds and sustains the indigenous population. Introducing intense industrial activity will disrupt all of that. (https://www.wilderness.org/wild-places/alaska/oil-drilling-arctic-national-wildlife-refuge) We see here the age-old decision-making process about the value of resources and who has the power to influence any changes.

Source: Alexis Bonogofsky, Alaska Region U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service

I just filled up my gas tank and while I was not pleased to see the cost was over $45, I drive a Prius that gets about 50mpg and I will not gas up again for several weeks. I made my choice several car purchases ago. Even a decade ago, the writing was clearly on the wall that our environmental costs were going to kill us all, sooner or later. As long as we keep acting like we need to use up the earth and all its resources, I suppose we will….and the challenge will come sooner for our grandchildren than we hope.

Give Me A Magic Pill?

There is an ad that runs sometimes between the games on my iPhone. It is a magic pill to reduce fat. Presented on Shark Tank, it raises so much excitement! Promises no side effects and will drop as much as 30 pounds in just a couple of weeks. No side effects. (Yes, I’m repeating myself.) And no diet or exercise needed. This is pure magic and the kind all of us who have struggled with our weight dream about.

And I am sorry, but I don’t believe it. I certainly do NOT believe the “no side effects”.

Why? Because I was intrigued by an FDA-approved drug that offered to help me lose weight. I needed to eat a nonfat diet and this medicine would get rid of all the fat in my body. No one in the doctors office and nowhere on the literature (yes, I read the small print stuff on medication I am going to put into my body-don’t you?) indicated that there would be THESE side effects.

I took those pills for 2 weeks and it took my body 6 months to stop….leaking. I was better prepared than a man would be to capture the oil essence leaving my nether regions, thank goodness for panty liners.

So, now that you have been possibly grossed out, let me inform you that the FDA did remove approval for that medication. But the product presented at Shark Tank does not fall under ANY scrutiny. There is no protocol in place to review supplements for content (yup-you may not be getting what is on the label) or safety.

I’m not advocating for FDA control of supplements, although there is an effort going on to put that in place. What I am trying to say is that while the FDA has a required regimen for approval, they do sometimes go too quickly to approve something that people want. Recently, the approval for a medication for Alzheimer’s is raising concerns by the medical and scientific community. This needs to be watched carefully.

I had exposure to the FDA system to approve medications early in my life. My father worked for ER Squibb & Sons all his working life. After his service in World War II (Pacific and European theaters) he attended City College in New York. It was free in those days, and the GI Bill helped with books and other expenses. He started working for Squibb at their original Brooklyn plant and then moved to New Brunswick, New Jersey in 1948.

The plant made a lot of medicine, and we knew whenever they were preparing penicillin. (My husband Graham talks about the aroma of a regional bread bakery in Dallas, Texas. No question, a more enjoyable smell.) Dad worked on a number of projects but I best remember when he worked on flavorings for children’s medicines. He’d bring stuff home to taste (spit it out, don’t swallow it) but it never was chocolate. I tried to persuade him and it wasn’t until I was a parent, that I appreciated that kids were not tempted to overdose on any med just because it was a favorite flavor.

My father spoke with the highest respect for the FDA’s process. And, trusting his experience and judgement, I held that view until the time of the magic weight loss medicine. At the same time, I was working for a respected ophthalmologist in Nashville and he was asked to be on the FDA panel to review all eye medications and surgical procedures being introduced. He never shared details but it was clear to me that there was a lot of arm wrestling between the medical and the pharmaceutical people on the committee sometimes.

So, yes, it became apparent to me that there was some agenda going on. No idea specifically what, but we know that governmental decisions sometimes deal with patronage and not as much with facts.

As the vaccine was being developed to address the COVID-19 infection, it was fascinating to hear how work had started on methods to address the specialized coronavirus formation. As SARS and other coronavirus infections started spreading early in the first decade of this century, work started. This article presents why and how the research started over 10 years ago. Still, even with this head start, it has been amazing to see how so many organizations, research facilities, and pharmaceuticals worked together to try to solve this problem. We had a global threat and competition was set aside for cooperation.

There have been so many technological advances that have happened during my life and my high school science helps me understand just some. With a willingness to read hard words and use other sources to explain things I don’t know, I can get a glimmer of comprehension. I am so appreciative for the people who have additional 8 to 12 years of specialized education and then decades of research and applied science to help determine things beyond my understanding and capability.

Which path to decision making do you take?

To assume I can make my own decision regarding how the virus or the vaccine will affect me, I have to be willing to trust sources I have read. When I read published studies that comply with the scientific process that has worked safely for us for decades, I look to see that the studies are independent. In other words, if the same researcher’s names show up on all my research, I have not researched correctly. I am skeptical enough that one or two or even the same ten people are not enough if they all are saying the same thing. In order to make an informed decision as a lay person without this specialized training, reading must include all viewpoints.

This scientific process may be flawed in part, but without it, studies are merely stories. Anyone presenting advice based only on 10 or 100 patients in a few medical practices is not providing information that is well tested and reasonable for a life-affecting decision.

I understand that there may be other treatments for any number of illnesses that may not be approved by the FDA that are effective. I enjoy the benefits of some unregulated supplements. But you can be very sure that if someone says something is good and the science behind it indicates it is a kind of bleach, I need to know a lot more before I jump into that line. And if the doctors suggesting this concoction was not done in a study by researchers because he is only a clinician, people should really slow down in jumping on this. Everyone really should read what he said after he said the thing they enjoy hearing.

And, final word here: if you eat junk food or if you buy prepared foods at the supermarket without reading the labels, you are showing you are someone’s puppet spouting you don’t know what is in the vaccine so you will not take it. If you truly are concerned about keeping your body healthy, there is a lot of behavior that needs to be considered. Like quitting smoking.

It is a HAPPY Anniversary

Today, as Graham and I celebrate our 14th anniversary, I ponder the pathways of my relationships. I happily acknowledge that some in my age range are well into 40 or more years of marriage. While I have never experienced this kind of “growing old together” relationship, I have learned a few things.

A lasting relationship is based on respect. I once was married to a man who said things like “There are two kinds of people: math and science people and English and history people. Math and science people are smarter.” and ten minutes later, “Will you please help me write my report?” And ten minutes later, “I hate to write complete sentences. That is so dumb!” I can laugh now, but you who live with someone like this are not laughing. You know.

A lasting relationship is based on some overlap of interests. I learned to cook from my mom and, as soon as they could sit steadily, I positioned my babies on my kitchen counter to participate. Being married to another person who enjoys cooking has given us a common area to explore. If we have a dinner party, we split the workload. If we want to have a fun project, we explore a cuisine we have never attempted before. And, in a day-in-day-out lifestyle, it means the humdrum duty of the family’s meal prep can be shared with no one person burdened day after day to come up with appetizing temptation for all. That sharing of duties, in itself, can save a marriage. And while your partner may not fully understand you, having common interests and activities build other pathways to closeness.

A lasting relationship is based on the knowledge that lust is not the same as love. We crave intimacy. We need touch. We sometimes confuse a satisfactory “itch-scratching session” with another person as a deep emotional bond. Sometimes we rinse and repeat for years before we might swear off sex because it has failed to be THE way to know who to trust. That’s also not a way to find love. It was the long distance of 350 miles that required me to build intimacy with Graham by sharing thoughts, hopes, and dreams; physical touch was of course not possible. It seems to me that most relationships build with talk until we get comfortable enough to move to physical intimacy, but many never take the time to build that emotional intimacy further.

A lasting relationship is based on giving each other space and allowance to improve personal goals. I once was married to an abuser. The short leash was one of the issues that burned hot and made me very aware that the man was an unhealthy partner. I became aware of how important it was to have my own time and space to work on my own interests. A healthy relationship is one where the desire to share time together is balanced with personal time.

A lasting relationship is based on the understanding that each person will always try to bring positives to the relationship. In the human condition, it is reasonable to expect some days don’t go so well. The way each person deals with stressful issues can affect relationships even when the partner has nothing to do with the problem. When one person flows into an emotional whirlwind and only emotes anger or silence, the relationship is in trouble. The other person is buffeted by a storm of emotion and yet, any offer of an ear and an effort to listen tends to diminish over time when that emotional assault is not balanced. Learning to communicate calmly in a time of high emotion is almost impossible. Know when to call for a personal time out and expect your partner to respect that, but get back to the issue. Something swept under the rug and never discussed ends up becoming a mountain that you will trip on again and again.

A lasting relationship is based on wanting a lasting relationship. Bring the best YOU to the relationship. Know what you need and know what you can provide. Talk about that. After failed marriages, I asked Graham “What kind of husband will you be? What kinds of responsibilities will you assume? What kind of time will you give me to nurture our relationship? And then, I asked him what he expected his wife to do and be. He was surprised but then he realized that in failing to think this way before, he also had not discussed with that prior partner what the hopes and expectations were. He understood that while the pathway may not be smooth, at least a basic agreement of roles and responsibilities helps sets some kind of guidelines.

A lasting relationship is based on recognizing that your partner is flawed. No one, even me myself and I, is perfect. After my first two marriages, I recognized I had to do better identifying and analyzing those personality traits of my partner that might irritate me. Sure enough, it does not eliminate my feeling of annoyance, but it does wake me up to the realization that I had recognized and analyzed it and decided it was not “too big a deal.” So, it is not fair for me to pitch a fit at this late date. There are ways to present a way to help reduce any irritant, of course. Knowing how to talk calmly about sensitive issues is so helpful.

So, here we are at FOURTEEN. For me, I am close to my 17 with a prior husband, but there it was 7 good years and 10 dying with cancer years, so in a way, I am “ahead” at this point. I like to also think I am “ahead” with the way Graham and I have learned to talk about uncomfortable things and while there will always be “something”, I do have high confidence that we will continue to walk together in a lasting relationship.

On My Mind Today

I’m having trouble writing in a calm tone today…there are just so many things going on that are hollering for something better.

The son of a friend, a chef in his 30s with a young son and loving wife, in good health, died suddenly at home this week.

The niece of a friend, together with 2 other high school friends, went for a ride together and all are now dead, thrown from the vehicle despite seatbelts.

The President is taken to Walter Reed Hospital because of a positive COVID infection and now, a few days later, says he is feeling better and planning to return to the White House. No one has said he is testing negative, of course. Everyone understands that this is way too early in the illness for him to be “better” but no one is adult enough to contradict him and order him back to bed. It’s gotten to a point that nothing that is announced from the White House can be considered truthful and reliable.

The desire for making a personal choice the highest rule of the land seems to stop people from noticing the strong correlation between unmasked events and infection outbreaks. Can you say Spring Break? How about Sturgis? And one recent superspreader event, the Rose Garden announcement? Can you notice people not thinking?

source: US Today

A candidate in a local election against an incumbent who has provided good service has been identified as an enforcer for compliance with rules of the Church of Scientology. Can she even serve equitably when so few are in agreement with her church policies? What is her real reason for running?

Another candidate for public office campaigned really hard to fight for a DEQ air quality sensor here in our city because perhaps someday there might be a reason to expand to automobile emission testing. So, during our wildfire season we have no way to know our local air quality, but must extrapolate the data from sensors 25-40 miles away. This man is proud of the way he “protected” us from maybe fees in the future and sees no reason why anyone needs to know if the air is unsafe.

Some people on various Facebook pages dedicated to food processing don’t even read any recipes when they start putting food into jars. The questions indicate a complete lack of any understanding about the food safety requirements.

A lot of people on freeze-drying Facebook group pages are thrilled about the candy they are processing, saying they eat it as fast as they preserve it because it tastes so good.

I can’t help but notice on trash day that my neighbors have a lot of take-out boxes and piles of plastic overflowing their large bin. I wish I could help them reduce their monthly bill to Recology by teaching them how to sort their trash at the very least and then to refuse all the single-use plastic next.

Recent surveys of the US population reveal that about a third of people are tuned into Qanon and hoping that yes, we will be rescued by aliens and all will be announced in October, no, wait, now the big reveal is in March. Stay tuned, obviously.

Other surveys of the American population disclose that about half are now drinking or drugging daily. As personal ownership of weapons rises, most new gunowners are not taking any safety instructions, and assaults at home are rising.

~~~

Meanwhile, I’m wondering why we are even trying to maintain a “normal” educational curriculum right now. This is the time to introduce Life 101 to include lessons on growing food, cooking and preserving; on sewing and ironing and doing laundry; on car maintenance; on household maintenance; on general small electrical repairs; on art and music and dance. This is the time for those of us close to the coast to teach about tides and sealife, including time for beach cleanup and plastic trash collection. Others can do to nearby rivers and streams and learn about the difference in those ecosystems. This is the time for matching older teenagers with adults who are working in a field that the youngster has expressed interest.

This is also the time for a huge survey of homes here in our town to identify which are not fully occupied. Those homes occupied by one or two elderly people who no longer can easily do the maintenance required may benefit from a match with a younger person or couple who can rent a room and provide some younger energy for daily life. Those homes that are sitting vacant may be able to be added to a housing program for people who currently can not afford to pay for indoor housing.

This is also the time for neighbors to join together to plan their 2021 gardens, so participating families can grow different foods to share with all in their circle. This is the time to arrange for seeds and jars and lids before the seasonal requirements run the stores empty.

~~~

We can’t sit in the doldrums. We have too much good work to do to help raise everyone.

Okay, I know I’m a Bit Weird but…….

I know I march to a different drummer most of the time. I stay pretty busy, even in the past couple of years when I was in a lot of pain needing joint surgeries and eye surgeries. It’s been a long haul and I am pleased at my physical healing.  But I recognize I am not “back” yet

My energy level is not where it had been. Compared to most people, my activity is high and I am involved in so so much. But I am sleeping more. Needing to sleep more. That’s okay. Early to bed and not so early to rise, unless I have to set my alarm. (That is one joy of retirement.)

But I used to wake up, for over sixty years, early, often before dawn, eager for the day. I knew what I needed to do. I had figured out how long it will take me to do each task and what all I can get ticked off the “to do” list.  (You don’t so that? Chalk that up to one of our differences.)

Now, though, I am sluggish. I put off getting out of bed. (one more game of sudoku….is anyone still playing that game besides me?)

But here it is 9:43 on a Saturday morning and I have stripped the bed, run the wash,  made coffee (very important job in this household), grated carrots and got them into the dehydrator, put a bag of cut veggie ends I keep in my freezer into a dutch oven to simmer and make veggie broth (you can do this too!), checked emails, signed a petition, checked to see where the “emergency” protest marches are close by on Monday (Portland and Vancouver), wrote someone to ask her to do something I know she won’t want to do (hi PF!), and now yakking up my latest itch in my head. I think I’m doing okay this morning, eh?

So, I think we have two basic categories for people. Planners and reactors.

Planners are people like me, who understand the tasks that they need to do, basically, their responsibilities. They accepted these responsibilities. They know how to achieve them and they know how long the task will take, all things moving well.  Planners also have contingency plans. They understand that not all things move well all the time Other issues come up that have to be considered and people have needs or wants and sometimes as much as the task is important, it is necessary to put is aside, because, well people.  People win over things.   But everything gets done because there is a plan.

(source: Blue Ridge Tutoring.) I used to plan like this on paper. Now I keep my calendar on my smart phone.

Reactors are people who, to me, seem to come in sometime after the movie has started. They are not there (physically or mentally) to set the stage, plan the action, decide on the actors, let alone direct the action.  These are all decided by others and the reactor is sometimes in a position trying to catch up, figure it all out. Off balance much of the time. Stressed by what they don’t know is coming, but they know something is.  And although there is not as much work product as the planner can get done in the same amount of time, the stress level is high.

Someone recently asked me what I do. I started telling them about Can-Do Real Food and how, in the off season (not much harvesting right now) I’m probably only putting in 30 hours a week. During harvest, between end of June and the end of October, I end up putting in about 50 hours a week.

They said, but you also are involved in Zero Waste McMinnville. Yes, and like the overachiever I have been since I can remember, where I once volunteered to write a blog once a month about garbage and the environment (you’d be surprised how much there is to share how each of us can make some small changes that will have huge effects), I am now in charge of the Facebook page, put together a website, provide marketing dissemination for all Zero Waste McMinnville events, and somehow I also am on the Events committee because i spoke up with a suggestion. (teaches me, eh? probably not…….) And, because of the public response on social media, a team of us are putting together an amazing event that I sure hope becomes an annual success, the McMinnville Recycled Arts Festival.  So all that also takes about 10 hours a week. Or more. Right now, it’s about 20 hours a week just on the arts festival. (Good thing we’re off season at Can-Do so I CAN do.)

source: Mostly Inspirational Chit-Chat

So, I am busy staying busy and I recognize that I have not been outside to check out how the apple tree was trimmed by the contractor. I have not gone out to trim my raspberry canes, I have not straightened up spaces that are mine (my office and my storeroom) that got really messy over the past year because of my pain and inability to move easily. I have stuff to do……..and that problem with my energy keeps me in my desk chair in front of my computer……..

I’d ask for someone to help remind me to get my butt in gear but everyone else I know has their own level of busy and certainly won’t eagerly take on a task to manage me. LOL I also suspect that a few of the people offering to “help” may have some ulterior agenda. (Beth will do it…..)

So, yes, I am wired differently than most people. I admit it.  If you want to increase your energy level (you do not have to go as nutso as me) maybe the suggestions in this article can help you.  I get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, drink 3-4 tall glasses of water daily, try to cook whole foods to avoid additives that might affect my body (like artificial sweeteners and preservatives), keep my mind-altering recreational enjoyment to end of the day (when I am finished with my responsibilities), and pay attention to my body when it reports it needs attention (yes, we go to the pool exercise class AKA “geezer aerobics” 3 hours a week).

Source: Freepik

One area where I have not been a success is the financial world. But I certainly know I am not alone there. We are “paycheck to paycheck” like most people and yet, I also count my blessings. And we have many. So while there are stressors, there is no reason to be stressed out. The choice is mine. And so it goes….

 

 

Listen to Your Body

Yes, I admit I was concerned ….. at the beginning…..that it was cancer.

About twenty years ago, when I had a small child and a husband who had been diagnosed with an incurable brain cancer, I told my doctor if the pain in my leg was cancer, just amputate it now. I didn’t have the time or energy to fight it. He assured me (well, he used these words but assurance is too strong a word) that there is only one cancer permitted per family.

I had noticed a tender spot while shaving my leg. The resident who preceded the doctor told me not to press the spot. I informed her that my duty was to help train her and that was the “B” answer.

The doctor suggested it was a deep varicose vein and not to worry about it. He did no tests.

I can’t say I “worried” about it, but as it periodically would throb a bit, I would be reminded once again that something was not normal.

Ten years later, life having moved me on to becoming a widow and then a new bride, I approached a new doctor in West Virginia with the issue. He sent me to get an ultrasound to check out the varicose vein hypothesis. Proven false, he then opined it was a torn muscle. How the muscle tore and why it wasn’t healed after ten years was not answered.

So, another ten years and here I am.

Having paid my maximum out of pocket for my health insurance earlier this year, I am taking care of a number of issues right now with the right hip surgery and both eyes’ cataract surgeries scheduled before the end of the year. And yes, it was time to get this “thing” diagnosed and treated.

By this time the periodic throbbing actually woke me up out of sound sleep. On a scale of 1-10 it was an 8 at least. Thank goodness the spasms were short lived and periodic. Otherwise, I would have checked it out earlier, budget be damned.  So my PCP send me for an MRI and with the radiology report supporting my belief that there was “something in there” I then went to a general surgeon here in McMinnville.

He could not feel the little nodule. I offered to put my finger on it and he could draw a circle around my finger but he wanted to do it his way. Poke poke poke with active and increasingly loud confirmation by me when he hit the spot.

He told me there were about six in there and we scheduled an in-office procedure to remove the buggers. He believed they were subcutaneous cysts just below the skin and not in the muscle. Simple to remove.

I SHOULD have taken a photo of them, as of course I requested seeing what they looked like. Perhaps the more squeamish of you are glad I did not grab that opportunity. Suffice it to say that there were about 5 or 6 very small round pale tan nodules, each about .5 cm in size.  He slapped a bandage on me, restricted me from the hot tub and pool exercise class for 2 weeks while the wound healed, and told me to come back then. Stitches dissolved but I discovered whatever tape they used to cover the bandage has an adhesive that made me very itchy.  One more exciting allergy to add to my list. (The bandage adhesive I have had for my knee and hip surgery did not bother me…so different tape was used. Thank goodness for different tape!)

Anyway, we know I tend to do things that other people never experience. Such was the confirmation from the biopsy.  They were glomus tumors. Most people get them in their hands, sometimes under the fingernails. They usually present in young adults (well, I WAS 20 years younger when it presented, within the typical age group). And they account for about 1% of all soft tissue tumors.  Yeah me!

And, it is not cancer. Continuing to breathe.

So, my point? Know you body. Listen to your body. You are the only one who knows what feels normal and what is not a regular sensation. If your doctor pooh poohs you, find another doctor to get a second opinion. In my case, it took four doctors who did not know but one who could at least move us forward to the information stage.

Be proactive with your aches and pains. Catch things when they are smaller….no  matter the fear of what it could be…..better to catch it sooner than later.

Oh……the funniest thing the surgeon said?  “You are going to have a small scar.” Okay, two stitches compared to my two back surgeries, C-section, knee replacement, left hip replacement, pending right knee replacement and my first scar: my right elbow from 5 stitches used when I had a bike accident when I was 9 years old. At this point in my life,  who cares????!!!

Body Pride

I am not an active person although many people who know me ask if I ever stop and rest. What I mean is that I have never sustained any exercise program more than a month and I am “chunky” or as my daughter calls it,  “fluffy”. The Yiddish words zaftig fits.

So it is with extreme pleasure I can announce that I am healing well from my latest surgery and can see – and feel – the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.  And it is MY flabby, fluffy undisciplined body that is reaching the benchmarks easier and faster than average.

As I sat on the bleachers at the pool where my husband and my friend were participating in what we call “geezer aquatic aerobics” I ached to be in the water with them. I have 2 more weeks to go until I reach the magical 6-week post op mark where the doctor assures me that the surgical incision will be healed enough to block infection from the outside. And since there are kids in the pool right before the low-impact exercise class, we can assume there are elements in the water that could introduce a problem. I will be patient.  

This journey through pain and repair has been over two years now. I’d like to run through the story so perhaps others can feel they too can feel better.

First of all, when I was 19 I went skiing and had a spectacular fall. I laid in the snow off to the side of the run for a while and my memory is that the ski patrol came by and asked if I was okay. My answer was “I don’t know” and they left. Unlikely, but that’s the way I remember it.  I managed to get down the mountain and went back to school and never saw anyone at the health center because hey, I was 19 and healing is pretty magical at that age.

The next time the knee was assaulted was when I was 50 and contracted bacterial meningitis  working at Vanderbilt Medical Center. To be fair, no one else who handled the piece of equipment got sick. The doctors believed that as I was in the 6th year (of what turned out to be 10) of my husband’s fight with brain cancer, my adrenal system had been under assault for some time.  Fight or flight….and since I was choosing to stick with him and fight that cancer, I was bombarded with bad news all too often. That’s when the slow weight gain happened and that’s when my immune system weakened.  

So,  there I was all of a sudden, feeling like I had a horrible case of the flu and thankfully friends who came to take care of my youngest son made me go to the hospital.  I was that woman you hear moaning when you walk down the halls of a nursing home….too unable to articulate anything except “I feel miserable”. And then I remember nothing until I woke up and the doc was drawing about a liter of fluid from my knee.

Anyway, I survived, obviously. A year later my knee started hurting and I immediately invaded the doctor’s clinic (one benefit of working in a hospital) and he assured me that the meningitis was not back, but that I had arthritis in that knee.

I controlled the aggravation with glucosamine in various combinations and topped up with Advil if I needed more help. I started acupuncture when I moved to Oregon and sometimes had relief for 10 days without any Advil.

Until June 28, 2016 when I twisted my knee and could barely walk. We were heading to the farmers’ market and poor Graham had to set up everything without much help from me. I went to my doctor a day or so later and she did got me a referral to one of the local orthopedic docs here in town. It took 6 weeks to get an appointment and he took a look at me walking and decided, without the benefit of any x-ray or other imaging that I “just have arthritis and will never need surgery.”  When I asked him why it hurt so much differently and more than before I twisted it he was too busy to answer.

It will be no surprise to you that I refused to go back to him when I asked my primary doctor for a second opinion about 3 months later.  His partner had the benefit of an x-ray at that time and a ct-scan but he said just about the same thing the first doc had said…..I would never need surgery.

And so, while I waited for this knee to magically heal itself, I asked my doctor for PT and continued with the acupuncture. The physical therapy helped some but I was always in pain and always unable to do things I had been able to do before.  A marvelous friend stepped in to help Graham close down our farmers’ market booth each week.

And a year passed. And then my opposite hip started hurting. I had been “walking wonky” for a year because of the knee and the physical therapist opined that my pelvis had tilted because of the knee being out of alignment and the pressure of the femur into the pelvis was different from the way it normally should be.

So, that sounded like the purview of a chiropractor.  The acupuncturist and my primary care physician recommended the same guy so off I went.  There was some relief but when I asked  how long I could expect the treatments to effectively readjust the pelvis I was told “it had taken a while to get to that point and it will take a while to fix.”

Admittedly I was losing patience. And expressed it. So the chiropractor tried some other kind of adjustment and it HURT!  When I went back I saw his associate and that first treatment gave me 3 days of relief. I was looking forward to the next treatment but negated the positive effect by walking six blocks to meet my eldest son for lunch.  Six blocks……and I was in deep pain again. The next treatment the chiropractor tried some other aggressive treatment and that was it. I asked for a referral to a new orthopedic doctor not in this town and went “to get information”.

The new doc ordered a few more x-rays and then showed me on the computer the actual reason for the pain. And he said, very clearly, “you have arthritis which has worn away all the tissue that protects the joint and you are now “bone-on-bone”. There is no getting around the fact that you need surgery.”

This is the x-ray AFTER the surgery and may look funny because I have porcelain and plastic as part of the appliance because of a concern about a metal allergy. 

I continued with physical therapy and went into the knee reconstruction with muscles prepared as much as possible. I was able to drive in 2.5 weeks (it was my right knee so my driving leg)  which was important because I am the driver in the house. Graham is legally blind and no longer drives. Our friends were fantastic…taking him to the grocery store and me to PT but the relief of being able to get there myself was golden.  I had been told it would take me 6 weeks to be able to drive but I worked my exercise routine at home often.

I wondered how I was going to deal with right knee pain as well as left hip pain during the recuperation. The doctor told me that the hip might be okay after the surgery and it was quiet for about a month, but then starting speaking …and yelling….again.  I was very thankful for that quiet time which permitted me to sit up and get out of bed more easily.

Taking a walk around the block 3 weeks after the knee surgery. Yes, I was in pain.

And so, the hip was replaced 4 weeks ago.  Bone on bone there also, no getting around it any more.

People who have had both surgeries told me the hip would be easier healing and it has been. Pain levels were not as high and more easily handled with the Tylenol. The issues I had related to feeling like a beached whale having trouble turning over in bed and the bowel issues caused by the anesthesia and the narcotics I took the first couple of weeks.  That issue improved after a few weeks and moving in bed has gotten easier as well.

A few days ago I realized I had not taken any Advil that day. And now I am walking without a cane with an almost normal gait.

The financial side effect of all this is that I had to take money out of my retirement funds to pay my share of the bills. Medical insurance has gotten more and more expensive in the past two years with co-pays and out of pocket requirements higher.  Once I finish paying my share of the bills I will have paid out $7300 and that does not even count my monthly insurance premiums.

The upside to all that is that any additional medical help I need is now without cost. I still need to pay my monthly premium but my prescriptions will be free and the cataract surgeries will be scheduled before the end of the calendar year to take advantage of this benefit.

So, I started with a headline called “Body Pride”. There was a time, in 1983 where I experienced a wonderful glowing sense of pride in my body: I had just given birth to my eldest and was sustaining him by breastfeeding him. This was a perfectly clear example that my body worked well.

The faster than usual healing I have had from the knee and hip surgeries is also a mark of my body responding to the work I was doing, both actively through PT and more passively through acupuncture. I was making sure my nutrition was good and my body was getting the extra fuel it required because of the stress on it.

So, for all out there who have similar aches and pains, my best advice is to seek out those things you can do to supplement what you may be doing at home for self-care.  And get yourself to a doctor who will treat you fairly and communicate well. Do not give up and do not set restrictions on where you are willing to go. Yes, it is not fun to drive an hour plus to the orthopedic doc in Portland instead of 10 minutes to the guys here in my town. But it is worth every single red light and I have discovered some beautiful back roads that take me through gorgeous countryside.

I have so much I want to do….I am too young to feel as old as the last two years of pain made me feel.  Now, if only the new joints had amazing other attributes! 

epiphany!!!

Definition of epiphany

plural epiphanies

1capitalized : January 6 observed as a church festival in commemoration of the coming of the Magi as the first manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles or in the Eastern Church in commemoration of the baptism of Christ

2: an appearance or manifestation especially of a divine being

3a (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something 

(2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking 

(3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure

b : a revealing scene or moment

 

In truth, I did not know anything about the Christian use of the word Epiphany until 11 years ago but I’m not talking about that definition. I am talking about the noncapitalized use of the word-the sudden deep understanding that hits a person with clarity.

So, I always believed this concept but last evening I UNDERSTOOD it. I now recognize the difference and that difference is profound.

I always was a good student. I liked school. It was very much a place for social interaction but I also enjoyed the exploration of information.  I remember the handful of amazing teachers I had with great respect.

I graduated about 17th in my class of 350 or so. I did not work hard, so perhaps I could have done better, but it was a place where I felt satisfaction. I could get decent grades while enjoying band, Girl Scouts, my religious youth group activities and more. I was not so dedicated to my schooling that I did not have fun although I have always been a goodie-two-shoes, so my concept of what is fun and yours may differ.

I struggled with math and science but managed to get As and Bs.  Still, I always assumed people who could do math easily, like my husband and my children, were smarter than I am.

Last evening it hit me that they are NOT smarter because they can do math. They just have different strengths than I do. Graham, for example, is a good writer, but he is not comfortable with a writing assignment, any more than I am with math.

Source: Team Epiphany

And yet, I can whip out an essay about a lot of things easily. Still, we do not consider someone who can communicate in writing to be “smarter” than someone else who finds it difficult.

I believe as more and more people participate in the dumbing down of America, as mobile phone usage has lead people to assume headlines and sound bites are all the information they need, that evaluation of intelligence will have to change.

I also believe that intellectual intelligence is only one of many parts of a person’s makeup that enables success in life. Each person’s emotional maturity also permits analysis and growth….or frustration and stagnation. A high IQ with low EQ will usually lead to a life of alienation, feeling misunderstood by everyone.  The third aspect of intelligence is how you get along with others….can you accept people as they are or are you always judging others?

So, no longer will I feel inferior in comparison to a person who works comfortably in areas where my personal understanding is a bit stressed. I know I have other strengths…and I can fly well with them.

How about you?

The Most Important Job in the World

What’s the most important job in the world? Nope, not being the President of the United States, although we are learning right now how leadership in that role can influence how others think about us.   But few of us can do that job well, and so, not just anyone should assume the mantle.

I’m  speaking about parenting. Many of us are parents, have been parents, or want to be parents. Many of us should NOT be parents.

Ouch! Was that too nasty?  Perhaps….and perhaps not.

Let’s take an example from something on my Facebook feed today. Facebook is an excellent way to measure the values of your extended community. Some people who post on your feed are people you know well, others not so well, and others are “friends of friends” and you don’t really know them at all. It’s a microcosm of society.  Facebook is NOT good for trustworthy news….make sure to check everything you think is news there. But Facebook is good at understanding people’s viewpoints and that is what makes up society.

This morning a friend shared a concern that a teacher friend of hers had with parents of elementary school aged children. The teacher had posted that she starts the school year each year for the past 25 years the same way. She sends home papers for the parents to complete. We know this pile, and yes, it is an annoyance. But she sends home one more that she originates. She asks for information about the child: likes and dislikes, attitudes about going to school, family life and activities and more. She said she used to receive these essays from 98% of parents, she said in the last decade she has noticed a huge decline. Only 20% of parent’s participate in this.

source: Gasconade County RI School District

Yes, I know we all work long hours. Yes, I know there is a lot that needs to be done each and every day.  But, this is parenting. You had babies. Now, the question becomes, what kind of adult do you want to grow?

About 30 years ago I had to make a decision about my marriage. I had two small children (ages 1 and 3) and a husband who was self-centered and diagnosed with several mental health issues. When I saw the toddler mimicking his father’s behavior I knew I was not raising those kids in a healthy environment. I knew that my job was NOT what made money and supported the family (he had stopped working) but to raise those children to be healthy adults who not only could function in society but contribute to it.

We have lots of complaints about kids’ behavior and lack of ambition. We hear all too often that some kids lash out in anger over disappointments. We hear that there have been three generations of families on support programs.  We have a problem and it IS us.

It is parents who are not emotionally mature enough to recognize that their priority for the next 18 years after giving birth is to raise a child who finds joy in life, is excited to be intellectually curious, and enjoys participating in community service to feel a part of solutions.

source: http://www.smartbrief.com

What? No time?  Unless you are physically out of the house trying to earn a living 16 hours a day, that won’t fly. And if you are out of the house that much, who has your child? Surely you will place your child with a caregiver who will be teaching them how to tackle life’s challenges and embrace the wonderful things.

But I think most people are not away from their children. Most people may be struggling themselves with the burdens of everyday life and may be focusing on their own needs as their first priority. And that is still not the best.

Yes, you need some alone time to regenerate energy. No question about it. I chose 5am-6am. I asked no one to disturb me even if they were awake. That was MY time.

Then at 6am we could start the kids’ day. They had picked out their clothes (with my help as age appropriate) the night before so there was no “where are my shoes” emergencies. There is time for breakfast and packing a lunch before needing to be out the door for the bus or walk or car ride to school when you start early enough.

Can’t get up that early and be functional? Why not? What time did you get yourself to bed to sleep? What kind of “help” did you use to relax the night before that leaves you sluggish in the morning?  What are you teaching your children about responsibility and how they will be as adults?  They will mimic you.

When my youngest was in high school he ran cross country and track.  After the first track meet I saw I would be sitting in the stands for 5 hours between his first and last race.  The next meet I brought my camera and started taking photos. My husband did also.  We were recognized as team photographers and allowed on the field and for 4 years we captured photos of all 80 kids trying their best. 

I posted the photos on a site where (with a password) anyone could grab them and just about all the kids and some parents thanked us for our effort, but no one took over when we “graduated”.  It really amazed and saddened me when most parents never showed up to the high school track meets, even when they were held at our school. No car? There’s a bus and there are other people you can call for a ride.  There are ALWAYS solutions. It depends on you and what you want to do with and for your children.

Just as lust is not love, having sex does not mean you should have a baby.  But if you DO have a baby (and this is for men as well as women) you have just assumed responsibility to raise them. To be better than you are! To learn right and wrong! To develop solutions to problems! To recognized they are part of a community and receive benefits from that community so make time to give something back in service!

Because parents are ducking their responsibility, the concept of “life 101” classes to be held in middle school and high school needs to include a lot of things parents USED TO teach their children. How to develop a budget and live within it. How to balance a checkbook.  How to cook so you can make healthy meals and not need to depend on frozen options that are full of chemicals. How to sew so you can at least put a button back on a shirt. How to iron. How to change a tire. How to make a goal and work towards it. How to how to how to. The list goes on.

source: http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2011/02/07/100-things-all-parents-should-teach-their-children/

How to adult. Just because you are over 18 and legally an adult does not seem to equate to maturity with many people.  My parents had a saying that irritated me but it was a truism. At that time 21 was the age of legal majority so they would say “You do not automatically become an adult and know how to do everything when you are 21.”

They taught me much of what I needed to know and yes, some of their concepts were outdated and I rebelled.  I failed and picked myself up again and went on. That is also part of what we need to teach our kids. How to be resilient.

So, when you look at that beautiful newborn and get teary eyed over his potential, develop your plan of action. When you catch yourself spanking the 2-year-old trying to explore her world, change your parenting discipline to one that teaches with reason, not pain. When your 7-year-old tells you he hates you, explain calmly you know that feeling because perhaps right then you are hating their behavior, but you know they can choose to behave in a way that is better. When your 10-year-old gets Cs, look to your own time helping with homework; if you haven’t been you should be able to help pull that grade up to a B at least.  Long before your 15-year-old gets pregnant tell her age appropriate information  about the physical and emotional responsibility of actions….ALL actions. (Get over it people….you had sex and guess what, they will too!)

It takes work to be a parent. And to be a good parent takes a lot more work than many people are putting in.

Look around you. How many people are lonely?  Their kids have flown away and hardly ever come to visit or have contact.  How many people are so judgemental that if the child had opinions that differed from the parent the kid was told they were wrong but not why the parent feels that way.  I talked to an elderly man who was trolling the parking lot of the church looking for his daughter who was homeless. He told me how he hated her having a Latino boyfriend and had told her she could come home but not with him. He did not see he had built the wall that his daughter would not climb over.  Do you know people like that?

It starts with babies. How you raise your kids makes a difference.  Remember that each time you are ready to condemn the actions of “kids today”.

source: http://www.excite.com/education/blog/parents-need-to-take-responsibility-for-their-childrens-behavior

 

 

 

 

You DO have time….you have today.

In the past seven years I have really been involved in the local farm-to-table food movement. I urge people to cook from whole foods. They will enjoy the flavor so much more and they can control ingredients, getting away from preservatives that very well could be influencing your health.  But all too many people have the same answer: “I don’t have time to cook.”

Years ago I was ecstatic that my oldest son’s elementary school offered a parenting course when he was in 1st grade. STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) helped me recognize nonverbal signs when things were heading south in the kids’ behavior or my own response. I learned to stop things from escalating out of control and how to talk in a way that taught and provided discipline instead of punishment. I helped my kids learn to take responsibility for their actions and how to communicate their feelings, especially when their emotions were roiled up. And it seemed to have worked, because even if the three of them are not perfect by any means, they are wonderful active adults contributing to their communities. I have suggested this course or some other to many friends who are frustrated by their children’s behavior, since it really helped us.  But all too many people have the same answer: “I don’t have time for a 10-week seminar, one hour a week.”

Each of us makes choices, many of them, every single day. We decide simple things, like what to eat for breakfast and what to wear. And we decide harder things, like identifying the goal of the day.

Some of us are planners; we think about what we want/need to do and figure out the various ways to achieve that with all their pros and cons. Some of us never plan; we are reactors. We respond to things that go on around us. And much of the time we are surprised and maybe a little bit (or more) angry because things are not always the way we want it.

 

I want to share with you the story of one woman I never got to know until after I moved from West Virginia. Having common friends, her comments on Facebook resonated with me in many ways. A few issues were not in agreement and it was in private conversation that I learned that this woman understood her position. That nothing about her was merely reactive.

Until the shit hit the fan. Already a breast cancer survivor, you would agree with me that that should be all Paige should have had to deal with, but no. Her beloved husband collapsed with a brain aneurysm and she had to explain to their two young daughters that Daddy was never coming home. You might agree with me that that is more than any woman should need to deal with in her life.

Source: Paige M – too long ago

But no, still more. The cancer was back and fully metastasized throughout her body. Paige, above all else, is a realist. She understands there is not much time left.

source: Paige M December 2017

The pain of knowing she will not see her daughters graduate gets eased for minutes as she makes memories with them. She’s getting things in place, knowing they will be well loved by others to reach their goals, but it is not enough. There is not enough time left.

And then she posted this photo, and I looked at her…..and I see it. Life. In the moment. Participating. Grabbing all of it. Pain. Joy. Achievement. Struggle.

source: Herald Dispatch

So please please please look at your own life. Are you living? Go. Do.     You DO have time….you have today.